Compassion Fatigue

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_single_image image=”607″ img_size=”large” alignment=”right” style=”vc_box_circle_2″][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]Have you ever cared for someone deeply but felt that care erodes away at everything you might have given them. Deep-seated love gives way to a feeling of enviable annoyance and bitter resentment. Maybe the same things have been said with calm love but suddenly come out in frustrated yelling. Perhaps you have expectations that continually go unmet. Maybe the effort it would take to express your needs was consumed doing …

Those Fond Memories

I often sit and remember my son as a baby, one to two years old. Just full of wonder and whimsy. The thing that this does in me surprises me. I can feel my longing to see him. To see his smile again. Maybe to remind him that he is dearly loved. This is not something you have with your foster and adoptive children. You might have some very painful first memories. Like the time …

I Am On Your Team

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_single_image image=”602″ img_size=”large” alignment=”center”][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] It is very easy to get caught up in an, “us against them mentality” when parenting. Children who have personalities all their own who might be predisposed to grate your own can be wonderful challenges. Recently it was impressed upon me that our circumstance is not our cross to bare rather it is our attitude towards the circumstance. If you are afraid will you step forward. If you hate your job …

Take It Personally

Offense is a funny thing. It has crept into every aspect of life. It is no longer fashionable to be white or male, though the idea that it could have been fashionable in the first place is a wonder. So we are offended deeply by many things always demanding that the world conforms to some easy chair style pattern for just one person. Then there are the children of such a society. Broken, hurt and …

A Strange Mixture

So it is happening, the first set of foster children we have helped are finishing their cases and going home. All have been wonderful kids that I am so thankful came to live with us for a time. Others have been more challenging than others. Out of these lives we have had an astonishing opportunity to touch, comes something new. A mixture of emotions, terribly sad and joyously relieved is a blend I am finding …

With Small Clinched Fists

One of the things that we often say in our house is “I love all the people here. If you pick on someone I love, then I will have to correct you.” The kids don’t always get this at first. Rage and hurts get dealt out randomly and at the point of pain for these little ones. As a parent what does this look like? Could look like many things. What I see the most …

Unified and Unique

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_single_image image=”576″ img_size=”large” alignment=”center”][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]Individuality and family unity go hand in hand. My oldest son is nine years old. He is currently in the foster system. He brings a dynamic to our house that is like a sine wave, lots of ups and downs. One of the frequent sticking points for him reveals itself in its purest form by a phrase he utters only in his most fearful and angry moments. “You love your real son …