Straight White Male Thoughts

White privilege; for a while I saw it as a phrase, a concept that was being used to painted me in a bad light. Then I realized, wow I do have white privilege and on top of that I am a straight white male like Dana Carvey Netflix Special. My perspective is not invalid it gives me a vantage from on high. Suddenly I realized that my points of view carry so much MORE weight …

He Sat Crying

He Sat Crying He sat crying in the garage for a little while he cried. A mind like an otherworldly accuser constantly on him. You are always on the bad side of things. He is so young still in elementary school but he is smart. He can’t seem to shake the feeling that he is good enough or smart enough or able to make a friend. No matter how many friends he has he only …

15,098

When the wind blows through trees or the earth is kicked up but subterranean movements humanity writes poetry. We story tell. We lament in the streets. We gird ourselves for war. We right songs and books to fire from our guns. We aim those guns at circumstance, each other, and sometimes we eat the bullets for nourishment. We in the majority flail about looking for something to grasp and we may or may not find …

Step Forward Into The Hurt

When you have to step forward even knowing full and well that it will hurt like you know it will hurt. Imagine you have done 150 air squats and it is the day after and your DOMs is so profound that when you use your quads (The large muscles on the front of your upper leg) they feel like they might explode. Sure you take some Advil and do some stretching but you know that …

A Sweet Sadness Over The Horizon

Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the passage of time and all of the things that means. Such a sweet sadness that is always mixed with deep joy. How I wish I could pour this out on the earth with all of it’s concepts and attached thoughts and perspective. Watching my children grow and watching the ever increasing number of gray beard hairs spread across get a since of impending significance. Not that things are devoid …

Is The Drain Really Unclogged?

Is the drain really unclogged The week started normally enough Monday morning breakfast and work, then Crossfit. That is where things went a little askew from the normal grind. See a spur of the moment obstacle course and this old mans endocrine system aliened like the planets on some cosmic solstice. I felt spry and ready for the class and decided that a vigorous step up onto a thirty inch box was exactly what I …

Breathing Strange Air

Those Hipsters with their guitars, banjos and beards bring a tear to my eye every time Hipsters and their guitars, banjos and rough voices make me tear up every time. I listened to a song that started out with the words “Old gas station hasn’t changed in a decade” and I almost lost it. That is it though; when certain areas of your inner being have been exposed to the blistering winds of tragedy and …

When It Is Lost

A Security Blanket

A leather bound journal. Really it is the security blanket of a man. An object that carries dreams, thoughts and the promise that no matter what thought, event, or dream that might slip in-between the plates of my skull can be written down and kept in good care. I lost it recently for a few days it was missing and this reality nagged me, scraping the backs of my knees so that at any idle …

Responsibility

A Personal Responsibility Personal responsibility is a funny thing, a virtue but still a funny thing. It calls us to take responsibility for things that every logical conclusion would drive us to blame others. All the while personal responsibility strokes our sweat soaked hair telling us that it doesn’t make what was done to you right but you have to own your reaction and the consequences. This has been a fun lesson to teach my …

And So We Are Pruned

We Have Eben-Ezers For Children An Eben-Ezer is a pile of stones that followers of God would raise at locations of significance. Abraham raised one at the location where he was asked to sacrifice Isac, Gideon raised one where he met the angel, and Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. If you are in church you probably have heard the word in the famous hymn “Come, thou Fount of …