In this world, there will be trouble and cortisol. Cortisol is the body’s main stress hormone, liquid alarm. Cortisol is not all bad. You need it to be strong, and to produce energy in a pinch. What if you just produce it all the time though? Well then you have a real problem, don’t you? Have you ever tried to sleep while a fire alarm is going off?
Cortisol is just physical though. Yet our bodies can produce it in response to existential problems. So through Cortisol, we find that there is more to life than just the physical because existential problems are by nature not physical.
There is a phrase in development it goes something like “We are building this plane in flight.” I have said that if you are a developer of anything, you are admitting that you are going to get whatever you are doing wrong the first time… and probably the second and third. There is also an understanding that most people will not be able to hear the report of your bat as you finally strike that home run over the din of their own misunderstanding about the process.
This applies to so many things, parenting, marriage, and general risk-taking. Accepting the problems is the grace and art part of stress. Allowing them to be things and to address them in a way that does not ignite your adrenal system with hormones meant to help you fight a predator. Will you get this right all the time? No, you won’t those hormones, that stress response is there to keep you alive. It is essential. What is not essential is the desire to never have a problem, to never be mired in the sticky mud of the other boot that drops. Accept the problems and their consequences and then move forward.