The cliff shimmered of electric obsidian. Colors moved through the darkness ahead and cosmic leviathans shifted in their sleep. Is this really what I wanted? Did I want to hurl myself into the strange unknown with all its transcendent machinations? Could I even predict how I might change? What if I came out the other side something or someone I would hate today?
The nebula pulsed wordlessly asking me if I had only come to observe or if I was to participate? Half of me refused to jump and the other half was already falling. Fall I did. What ease there is in losing oneself. You need only eat this mushroom or drink this tea and bam you go on a trip without ever leaving. In the end, there was no resistance to my standing on that cliff. There had only been some traveling and gathering of things.
I did not find myself. I only found the will to jump. I did not really lose myself either the memory of who I was laid like eternal embers on the surface of this new reality. I looked down at hands that had become something more. They were a vehicle and all this cosmic, esoteric, mumbo jumbo had left me changed. Not better, arguably worse from old me’s standards.
I had lost everything. I was never going to crest the hill of a city as the enlightened man. I was never going to stand before kings and pass judgment upon them. I had learned the truth but only had found it in the act of putting it so far out of my reach that I might never imbibe it.
What might be tears streamed down what might be a face from what could be considered eyes. There was truth and it was out there. What joy to know for sure. The worst part is that so many already know this and did not have to scare themselves so terribly to know it.