I wanted you to know that I love pictures of landscapes of beautiful vast vistas. I read, am reading a book by A.W. Tozer. He makes theology poetry He draws the conclusion All things are spiritual at root They all started in spirit, with God This thought ricochets around my skull Reminds me that even though I am stuck here in this office chair Available to me are wide vistas in the spiritual meaning, truth, …

“I have anxiety” Now-a-days everyone makes a big deal. I have anxiety, I have depression, I have mental illness. We all clap and coo and make excuses for them. Then they look at me and say, you are so stable how lucky you are. Meanwhile the inside of my skull buzzes with the sounds of battle. I have anxiety I just choose to fight back. Confession time: My anxiety and depression are at their worse …

I am sitting here crafting an email The email words are surface One step down is my messy garage An incomplete symbol for my life Rotting door and everything I long for the Holy solitude Solitude that is not alone But alone with you oh Wonder Yet I am here in the noise A life that beats the runners rhythm My mind and spirit grow lichens The dew settles on my beard Moss grows in …

The gloom settles like low lying fog along the floor of my room. So many reasons to stay in bed but one nagging pinched nerve With lightening across my skull I unlock my phone. Wretched thing it is. Used to open up the news every morning Now I pull up the verse of the day. I try to hold it in my mind in the shower like huddling around a campfire. I blow on those …

I tell a child about a sweet gum tree. The spiky balls float in the tiny creek. The creek runs through our neighborhood. It is so small and weak but it always runs She wants to gather as many as she can and throw. The air is brisk and the sun is warm. It is not the office. It is not the chair. It is not my house cooped up. This it he most relaxed …

I have a heart full of the woods Deep and alarming in scope Yet I am here caught by code and wires In love with two In love with a landscape alone and vast In love with talking to you whoever you are

I have a keyboard With lights behind the keys I programmed it to react to my touch I programmed it to shine The colors of the aurora borealis Because I will probably Never see it with my own eyes

I can understand the atheist. Always here at this computer at this office. Always here in this house at this home. Always with the same kids. Always with the same wife. It would be so easy to abandon that extra layer That extra layer of meaning. That meaning that makes you feel significant That meaning that makes Truth truth. That meaning that makes doing right worth it. That meaning that is beyond just a good …

My first child was born when I was 22 What do I have to teach him? I am a father but am I a good one? Sometimes I feel like I am just carrying buckets of water and handing it directly to them I am only learning at a pace that allows me to have only the next step and no further.

I have been plagued by a vision A vision of man Shoulder broad a man with fire in his eyes and power and adventure and gentle violence he has my name he has my face he is not me I have tears in my eyes and reluctant a heart I speak to my soul Like David why so down cast It responds I am blind. What would bring joy? To remove that man that vision …