Anxieties – Poem by Aaron Blakeley

Anxieties - A poem by Aaron Blakeley

Every morning I awake to a fresh new day
A gift from God in every way
It is early and I step my feet to old carpet
Avoid the spots I know are bad so I can ignore them
The water comes on oh yeah the shower leaks under the tile
So I smile and reach out with open arms towards God hoping for a lift

Cast all my anxieties on him
When they cling to me like they are hemmed into my skin
How am I supposed to put down my age of 33
How it seems to arrived without fanfare or remorse.
The first year where it is just another year.

Or how I desire to be a great dad
And how every time I loose my temper I have failed
Or how I want to be a great husband
But in my flesh and selfishness there are biting remarks
Or how i want to be healthy
But a doughnut can bring a man low
Or how I want to be a leader for my family
But the hardest person I have ever lead is me
Or bare my desire to be an excellent employee
When I realize the only person stopping me is me
Or foster these children with care and kindness
When I can’t shake this selfish desire for accolades
Or my weight, my libido waning, my financial straights, my concern for my friends, my utter lack of
discipline, my fear that me and my wife are drifting apart

Anxieties I got them in spades
Fresh everyday
God you want them I know you do
But how do you cast them away

I shake them loose
But the buzz around me like wasps
Here they are Lord guard this heart, gard this mind
Maybe in time I will know the peace
I want it to pass all my understanding not prideful just needy

Even now part of me wants to settle into desperation
Instead I will point to man’s salvation
So I blow on the coals of a willing spirit
I raise my hands and let God hear it
My worries, my silent anguish, my crushing loneliness

I express your hand In my life
How in hindsight I see your guidance
I worship your blinding light and deep mystery
I become a praying man

I do not shut my mouth except to listen
No I cast all my anxieties again and again
I even write them down
So for your glory others will know who saves this restless man

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