What is anticipation anyways? We are not guaranteed the next breath in our lungs yet we look forward to events and changes in our lives, circumstances, and even bodies. Expectations can be high or low but anticipation that has no preset hopes. Only that what is anticipated would indeed happen no matter the outcome.
It is the gravity of an event they closer we draw to it’s moment in space and time the harder it pulls at our emotions and thoughts. The gravity is relative we decide just how super massive the event is and if it is worthy of our anticipation. I anticipate a lot of things but because of their common occurrences they are familiar and lack the pull that makes one take notice.
To be truthful I had not really anticipated a whole lot in a long time. Then we started the process of fostering to adopt which could be its own novel. Alas here we are at the end of the process. With the possibility of receiving a child for fostering next week (while I am out of town). I was sitting this evening after having played with 6 of my sons friend (lights were out, nerf swords were swung, boys screamed like girls, good times) and it occurred to me that our family once again might grow.
Me and Nikki are pretty sure that our child bearing has met abrupt and painful end with the birth of our first born along with the trauma that surrounded all of that. Yet here we are again not to give birth in the natural way but to offer a home with a mom and dad to a child either transient in their circumstances destined to return to their home of origin with healthier parents or to become ours through adoption.
Anticipation I had forgot. The anticipation of new life, a baby growing in a mother. New anticipation I have been given, a child of unknown origin finding a sanctuary, love and family in us. I can’t wait, but I will have too.