It is very easy to get caught up in an, “us against them mentality” when parenting. Children who have personalities all their own who might be predisposed to grate your own can be wonderful challenges. Recently it was impressed upon me that our circumstance is not our cross to bare rather it is our attitude towards the circumstance.
If you are afraid will you step forward. If you hate your job will you still do it with your eyes to the Lord. If your child reminds you of the bully you dealt with in middle school, has interests that you simply can not see the interest in, is hurt by their past or is your polar opposite; will you be a family with them?
By family I mean team, companion, comrade, friend, hero, authoritarian and unconditional lover of who they are. This is a hard lesson but when you convince yourself and your child that you are indeed on the same team then when you have to approach discipline you will have a different place to come from. The flip side of this is you will find in your own heart a place for that child to occupy, in the arms of Christ.